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Laziness - there's nothing better.
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Aug. 13th, 2008 | 11:58 pm
location: my room.
music: Tokio Hotel - Frei Im Frein Fall
I think I have what I'd call "bursts of creative energy" or should I say moments were I'm not awfully sloth like in laziness. Which isn't often. I noticed for both my LJ and xanga, I post perhaps once or twice... A YEAR! Now that is lazy. Does that mean I'm never on LJ or Xanga? No. In fact I probably check these sites at least a few times a week...! But I digress, when I do have these "creative energy bursts", I write a lot. Most of which is disinteresting and meant for me to laugh back on in a few years when I re-read all my old entries. (I don't see how this entry could possibly even spark my own interest, but thats of little importance at the moment.)
Ah, anyway, recently I got an e-mail from "SM Town" regarding the upcoming Global Audition. I think I might audition again, I'm not 100% sure though... If I do audition what should I go for...? Modeling...? Singing? I'm not ugly per say... But hey I've seen prettier girls on the street at any given time of day too. And as for singing sure I can belt out a few tunes - not well that is. So why am I even considering going if I don't think I have a chance...? Good question. I'm still unsure. I've always wanted to model and sing - those two seem to often come hand in hand at some point - but I'm also a pessimist. In Asia the standard of beauty for women is essentially one who is PALE, skinny, has a high nose (bridge) and defined "tip", a small face (like Go Ara), and insanely large eyes. Yes I'm generalizing, but in most cases, I think I've hit the the bulls-eye. Not to bash myself, but I certainly fall short on every category - at least in the eyes of the media and over-scrutinizing peers (perhaps even myself, who knows). Anyways, by thinking I won't make it - I feel as if I'm protecting myself from being hurt when I eventually don't make the cut.
Well letting that out made myself feel better. I suppose regardless of whether or not I will be auditioning, I'm going to work on self-improving myself. I've been trying to get a little paler (since who knows how long) by not going out too often and soap, I know I'm not dark or anything, but I just don't want to be too tan thats all. I'll continue my skin-care routine, and I'll try to lose the last 5 pounds so I can reach my ideal weight. (I wrote an entry previous to this regarding dieting pills...) I'm about 5'3"-5'4", and currently 109 pounds... I want to reach my goal weight of 100-104 pounds soon. We'll see if I can I guess...
My "vain" side of me would like to tell you not to stare at my face too much - it was early and I had absolutely NO makeup on!
*feels naked* Stop judging me! lol
Oh and do you see that box of yellow on the right corner? Thats Nesquik cereal! I go through about 2 boxes a week by myself - no wonder this weight-loss thing isn't working... -o-;;
A sort-of full-body shot... I hadn't taken lots of photo's of myself recently until then.
Hmmm - but I should really practice posing - for the audition they want the people going for modeling to "free pose"... Well I'll work on it I guess, but I'd like to add that it was difficult to fit all of me into the mirror, I really need either a larger/longer mirror, or a web-cam. -_-;;;
Oh and btw, it isn't an audition for "runway/high fashion" modeling, it's for commercial modeling. ^ ^;;
Ah, anyway, recently I got an e-mail from "SM Town" regarding the upcoming Global Audition. I think I might audition again, I'm not 100% sure though... If I do audition what should I go for...? Modeling...? Singing? I'm not ugly per say... But hey I've seen prettier girls on the street at any given time of day too. And as for singing sure I can belt out a few tunes - not well that is. So why am I even considering going if I don't think I have a chance...? Good question. I'm still unsure. I've always wanted to model and sing - those two seem to often come hand in hand at some point - but I'm also a pessimist. In Asia the standard of beauty for women is essentially one who is PALE, skinny, has a high nose (bridge) and defined "tip", a small face (like Go Ara), and insanely large eyes. Yes I'm generalizing, but in most cases, I think I've hit the the bulls-eye. Not to bash myself, but I certainly fall short on every category - at least in the eyes of the media and over-scrutinizing peers (perhaps even myself, who knows). Anyways, by thinking I won't make it - I feel as if I'm protecting myself from being hurt when I eventually don't make the cut.
Well letting that out made myself feel better. I suppose regardless of whether or not I will be auditioning, I'm going to work on self-improving myself. I've been trying to get a little paler (since who knows how long) by not going out too often and soap, I know I'm not dark or anything, but I just don't want to be too tan thats all. I'll continue my skin-care routine, and I'll try to lose the last 5 pounds so I can reach my ideal weight. (I wrote an entry previous to this regarding dieting pills...) I'm about 5'3"-5'4", and currently 109 pounds... I want to reach my goal weight of 100-104 pounds soon. We'll see if I can I guess...
My "vain" side of me would like to tell you not to stare at my face too much - it was early and I had absolutely NO makeup on!
*feels naked* Stop judging me! lol
Oh and do you see that box of yellow on the right corner? Thats Nesquik cereal! I go through about 2 boxes a week by myself - no wonder this weight-loss thing isn't working... -o-;;
A sort-of full-body shot... I hadn't taken lots of photo's of myself recently until then.
Hmmm - but I should really practice posing - for the audition they want the people going for modeling to "free pose"... Well I'll work on it I guess, but I'd like to add that it was difficult to fit all of me into the mirror, I really need either a larger/longer mirror, or a web-cam. -_-;;;
Oh and btw, it isn't an audition for "runway/high fashion" modeling, it's for commercial modeling. ^ ^;;
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